


A Light in the Sky

by raszades



Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: Fairy Tale Style, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 13:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13742127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raszades/pseuds/raszades
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a noble hero named Brad Starlight. His blue cape sparkled with the light of the very stars in the sky, and his hair was the colour of pure starlight (which is how he got his name).And this noble hero has set his sights on stopping Lord Hater.





	A Light in the Sky

Once upon a time, there was a noble hero named Brad Starlight. His blue cape sparkled with the light of the very stars in the sky, and his hair was the colour of pure starlight (which is how he got his name).

This hero had heard of the numerous evil conquerers plaguing the planets of the galaxy and took it upon himself to rid it of their tyranny. His sword was so mighty that it could take out lesser soldiers in naught but a single blow.

He knew that he would be able to slay evil, so he began his quest.

His first stop was a planet that had been conquered by the likes of the evil Lord Hater. However, Lord Hater was not there. It was only an army of watchdogs.

Brad punched some of the watchdogs. In fact, he punched all of them in a mighty battle (that was so mighty that it that it cannot be described in detail), until they went running with their tails between their legs.

The king was eternally grateful and gave him his daughter to marry. But on the night before their marriage, Brad found the princess weeping on her bed.

"What ever is the matter, noble princess?" he asked.

She said, "Oh, Starlight, I am so worried for my much more attractive sister. Lord Hater still controls her planet. I am certain that if you rescue her, she will be forever grateful. Perhaps so grateful she will even marry you. She is at least twice as beautiful as me."

Being a brave and noble hero, Brad understood what he had to do. He smooched his wife a sad farewell and left for the next planet to save. A beautiful princess—er—many innocent _lives_ were on the line!

So he journeyed to the next planet. Again, Lord Hater was not there, only another army, which Brad defeated effortlessly on his first try. 

But this time, there was a general. And the general looked at Brad and offered him many bags and bags of gold if he would only leave Lord Hater's hateful regime in peace. Brad Starlight considered this for a moment, then took the bags. The general sighed in happiness.

But as his back was turned and he was distracted, Brad Starlight sliced him in half before he could cry out to the others! Then, he used his clothes as a disguise and commanded for all the other watchdogs to leave and never come back. He also commanded for them to return the king and the princess.

And they did.

The princess was so happy that she hugged Brad on the spot. "Did my sister send you? She told me she would send someone."

"She did! And, as you can see, I have in fact rescued you heroically. Yes, yes, I know, feel free to begin your applause and or smooching."

"I am quite grateful," she said, "and I WOULD marry you if I could. But I cannot, as I worry too dearly about my second cousin twice-removed." She pulled out a map and pointed at a planet. "This is where she is. She is at least ten times prettier than me."

"I… see."

"Being so brave and noble, I know you can certainly save her. If you did not, I would feel so sad. I would weep for ever and never smooch anyone ever again."

"Not even me?"

"Not even you." She had already started crying. Her tears made a puddle. "Please save her."

So he went.

However, on the last planet, it was not just the watchdogs—but also Lord Hater himself. He was more monstrous than even the worst of legends spoke of. His skeletal face was adorned with with jagged horns that twisted like lightning and toxic-green eyes. His hands ended in pointed claws.

Brad had no fear as he stomped up to him. He absolutely was not shaking in his boots nor sweating buckets.

"Halt!" said Brad heroically.

"Uh," said Lord Hater evilly. "Do I, like, _know_ you?"

"You soon will, foul monster! For I am the Great Hero Brad Starlight, and I have come to end your tyranny!"

"Ohh… You're one of those guys." Lord Hater cleared his throat, then let out a raucous laugh, for many a hero had tried and failed to stop him. What made this one so different? "I'd like to see you try stopping me, 'Bradley'. Prepare to get—uh—HATE…ED!"

"That's Starlight to you!" Brad took a combative stance, a snarl on his (well-sculpted) jaw. Then he charged.

Lord Hater did not move outwardly, but a furious green storm brewed behind him.

As Brad swung his sword at the storming skeleton, the lightning leapt to the metal with a deafening crack of thunder. He fell to the ground with a cry. His sword fell from his hand, and Lord Hater smashed it in a single stomp.

"That's what you get for messing with the Greatest in the Galaxy! Now!" He snapped his fingers. "Take him to the torture room."

"That's not fair!" Brad whined as he was picked up by a few watchdogs. "I'm the hero! I am to defeat you and save the galaxy and get lots of princesses and money, as the prophecy foretold!"

"Wait, there's a _prophecy_?" Hater's eyes seemed to bulge out of their sockets, the storm abating behind his shock.

"Indeed." Brad pulled a leather-bound book from his armour, its pages worn and yellow. His hands flipped to a page at the beginning and he read aloud: "And the mighty hero, Brad Starlight (that's me) vanquished Lord Hater (that's you) in a single blow with his sword. The galaxy was freed. All the beautiful princesses smooched Brad and were added to his harem."

Lord Hater blinked, then pulled the book closer with his magic. He read over the page himself. Once, twice, three times. Then his face hardened. He crushed the book to ashes in his fist. "Here's what I think of your so-called prophecy!"

"No!" cried Brad. "Not my diar—I mean, the destroyer of the prophecy shall be cursed for millions and millions of years!"

"Well, it's—not like I believe something like that but, HYPOTHETICALLY, just for the sake of argument… how… _would_ one remove this… curse."

"Firstly, by freeing me."

"Done."

"Then by setting free this planet."

"But it's mine!"

"But the curse!"

Lord Hater truthfully was very scared of the curse. He slunk back into his skeletal ship and fled into the night.

"Noble Hero," said the princess, "I know that Lord Hater is evil, but even he does not deserve such a disastrous fate, to be cursed for eternity."

"Ahah!" said Starlight, for he was a crafty fellow who had outsmarted Lord Hater by miles. "There never was a curse to begin with! I tricked him—"

And then Lord Hater's skeletal ship shot Brad. Because it had heard him.

And everyone mourned him until he came back to life in the sequel.

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> old fic is old. found the wip in my files and wrapped it up as best i could.


End file.
